Me

Even though it's just another tomorrow, another day, the start of the year is always a good place to start over, to make decisions, and to try again.

This year, I decided to stop talking about things. To stop saying "I want to..." To stop saying "I'm going to..." I'm actually going to do the things I say I'll do.

Last year I did that. I quit my job in retail, after months of saying I was going to, and I will never go back. I will never again work in a store in a mall. Yuck.

I also did it when I bought my DSLR. I stopped saying that I wanted one, and I went out and got one.

It was in those decisions that my life started to move. I was stuck in my job because it was making me money, but the money wasn't getting me anywhere. Leaving it pushed me to live on faith. It pushed me to push myself further into what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be, rather than just working for money (which I never seemed to have much of anyway).

I want to be self-employed, and what better opportunity for that to happen than in the midst of unemployment? At the end of your rope, I believe, is the best place to be for things to start happening, because you can let go of it all and have nothing left but to trust God. It's scary, and not at all "smart", but in the end, it's worth it.

So, with all this on my mind, I threw a New Years Eve party (http://annie-kennedy.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-new-year.html). I did what I loved to do - I created and I decorated and made things pretty and colourful, and I photographed it. I was pretty happy with the way it turned out.

Here is a photo of me and my friend Amanda at the party :)

Thanks for the photo Sara (http://www.appelmak.blogspot.com/)!

Okay - so New Year, New Mindset, New Goals, no money, living by faith each day as it came . . . whopping big car crash on the way to a job interview.

Hmmm... strange isn't it? Oh, to understand the "whys" in life!

I am so thankful that no one was hurt, and while I am still waiting to find out who was at fault, I am being positive, and expecting -- knowing -- that I will be taken care of. I already am being taken care of. I have no money, and my parents don't have much either, but they are giving me everything that I need.

My uncle sold me his car for $650, and my Dad is putting so much more money and work into it to make it better.

While I don't always succeed, I try and take all this bad news as opportunities for blessing. My old car was so amazing, so reliable, I think an accident is the only way it would have died. I believe it would have outlived me. I would have never gotten a new car. So, here is the opportunity.

I am borrowing a lot of money for the car, so I figure I'll borrow a little bit more (it won't make much difference), and I'll be able to buy the few more things I need to set me up for John and Jade's wedding in March, and also maybe kick start the jewellery business I have in my mind to do. This is the opportunity.

And being unemployed, I have all this time to "work". To be my own boss. To start my own business. To do what I love to do. To do what I believe I am supposed to do. Opportunity.

It's also an opportunity for me to figure out "why" I am doing the things I am doing.

The world is quite messy. It's terrifying, and devestated. Photography is a great medium to raise awareness for the help that is needed. But I don't think that's my job. There are people out there that do that and do it well. But I don't want to.

I want to make people smile. I want to show that there still is love and beauty in the world. I'm not going to turn a blind eye to the needy, but I'm not going to to showcase horror and despair in my work.

As bad as it is, God still loves the world, and it is worth everything to Him. I want to see the world as He sees it. For it's worth. For it's beauty. I want to see Him in the world, because He is Love. And He still exists.

We all could use a little reminder of that. So that is what I want from my business. I want to imitate Christ, by loving life, and loving people, and loving this world, and doing that through photography, not just saying it.

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So this turned into a very long post, but if you've stuck with me until the end, thank you :). I don't really know if I had a solid point with this post, but I guess I could say that I am taking chances, and hope that it inspires you to do the same, because it's exciting to find out what happens when you do. I also hope you are doing what you love, and know why you are doing it.

:)