BE STILL

There is a lot going on over here in Hawaii, and a pretty nasty flu bug is hitting the Track hard. This past weekend was my turn, and I didn't take it very well. With a lot else on my mind, I didn't sleep much, and found myself pretty vulnerable to fear, lies, and questions.

With such loud and aggressive voices in my head, I asked God to please speak louder, because I couldn't hear him over the noise.

Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God.

That's what I heard.

It wasn't really what I thought I needed though. I wanted fighting works to attack the fear, lies, and questions, and I didn't think being still was strong enough. But God reminded me that He is so powerful, even in His stillness He is stronger than any attack of the enemy.

***

(A couple of weeks ago I had a beautiful dream that a friend wrote me a poem, and the only line of the poem I could remember was feathers are stronger than you think.

Psalm 91:1&4
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty... He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge...)

***

I love the way the Lord speaks.

WHY ARE YOU ON THIS EARTH?

My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I write my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalm 45:1

All of the girls of the Awakening Track were asked a question…

Why are you on this earth?

I've never liked this question, mostly because I've never had an answer for it. Sure, I know, we all have a purpose. But for me it was such a cliche that it had no actual meaning. I really didn't know who I was created to be. So, I figured I would simply not answer and let the more confident girls answer, the ones with more clarity of vision, and louder voices.

The option to pass was, however, not offered, and as each girl began to speak identity and destiny over herself, power began to be released in the room. Whether she knew or simply wanted to believe, she spoke. Some were quiet, embarrassed to speak the words out loud, apologetic for dreaming about what she might, possibly, could be. Some cried as walls they had been hiding behind crumbled and exposed their beauty. Others spoke with shining eyes and radiant faces, secure in the knowledge of who they are and Who made them that way. And as they did, the rest of us agreed with the sneaking suspicion: we were all created for greatness.

The recording iPhone was passed around the large circle, getting closer to me. My heart began to burn and burst as thoughts, dreams, words and prayers were dropped into it. I was shaking. I could see moments of my life falling together like pieces of a puzzle.

Was I finally seeing? Was I finally understanding? Did I actually have a specific, God-given purpose?

Why am I on the earth?

I remembered I make pictures of people, not of what they look like but of who they are. That I've been told that I would speak identity over people, and prophesy the Father's heart over them with the pictures that I make of them.

I remembered visiting with a man in Israel and communicating for hours, hardly noticing we didn't speak each other's languages. I remembered that for hours as a child I would write all the stories in my head. Paper, ink, a desk with a candle burning at midnight - this made me come alive. I remembered times when insecurity would grip me so tight that it would literally choke my voice out of me, and I would make a fool of myself, stumbling on every word, saying something stupid, or sounding high and squeaky. I remembered wanting to say so much to people, and not being able to find the words, so I would simply hug them, and they would tell me they understood. I remembered the first day of my preaching and teaching class in school this quarter, being let talk beyond my time limit because my teacher was almost moved to tears by my story.

I remembered in my DTS having probably one the worst nightmares I've ever had. Sparing you the details, my voice was stolen and I couldn't scream.

But I realised that even if that nightmare came true, if my voice was literally taken out of my mouth, it wouldn't matter. Because I have been given many voices, and I speak many languages.

I am a communicator.

What this means exactly is still unfolding as we speak. Opportunities to communicate are cooking in their little ovens and may come out as open doors, but we will see. All I know is that I am excited for my future. I have clarity for what I want, what I am working towards, who I am living for, and who He created me to be.

When I know more… I'll let you know.

:)

SEA OF GALILEE

Mark 4:35-41 - On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, "Let us cross over to the other side." Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, "Who can this be, that even the wind and sea obey Him?"

Matthew 5:1-11 - Seeing the crowds, He went up on the mountain, and when He sat down, His disciples came to Him. And He opened His mouth and taught them saying, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Luke 10:13 - Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes.

John 6:9-14 - "There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many? Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, about five thousand in number. Jesus then took the loaves, and when He had given thanks, He distributed them to those who were seated. So also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, He told his disciples, "Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost." So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves left by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign that He had done, they said, "This is indeed the Prophet who is to come into the world!"

Mark 1:21-28 Then they entered Capernaum. When the Sabbath arrived, Jesus lost no time in getting to the meeting place. He spent the day there teaching. They were surprised at His teaching - so forthright, so confident - not quibbling and quoting like the religion scholars. Suddenly, while still in the meeting place, He was interrupted by a man who was deeply disturbed and yelling out, "What business do You have here with us, Jesus? Nazarene! I know what You're up to! You're the Holy One of God, and You've come to destroy us!" Jesus shut him up: "Quiet! Get out of him!" The afflicting spirit threw the man into spasms, protesting loudly - and got out. Everyone there was incredulous, buzzing with curiosity. "What's going on here? A new teaching that does what it says? He shuts up defiling, demonic spirits and sends them packing!" New of this traveled fast and was soon all over Galilee.

Mark 8:22-25 - Then He came to Bethsaida; and they brought a blind man to Him, and begged Him to touch him. So He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the town. And when He had spit on his eyes and put His hands on him, He asked him if he saw anything. And he looked up and said, "I see men like trees, walking." Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly.

Isaiah 43:1 - But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."

Matthew 3:11, 13-14 - (John the Baptist) "I indeed baptise you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, who sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptise you with the Holy Spirit and fire..." Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan to be baptised by him. And John tried to prevent Him, saying, "I need to be baptised by You, and You are coming to me?"

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you."

UPDATE: [GERMANY]

An hour outside of Munich, there is a tiny village called Hurlach, and in that village is the second YWAM base in history, in a 400 year old castle. After the wild and crazy adventure we had in Israel, everything got quiet and still as we debriefed for 6 days in Germany. The sleepy village was surrounded by forests, and the air was cold. We would ride our bikes through the pines, past meadows of wildflowers and cottages with their gardens spilling out of window boxes and picket fences. We explored the creaking, winding staircases and attics, built a campfire every night as the sun went down, and lay in the castle turret at midnight to watch the shooting stars. I felt like I was walking the pages of a storybook, living my childhood fairytale dream. We could breathe again. It was healing to our souls.

UPDATE: [ISRAEL]

The world is getting smaller. Time zones are blurring. Cultures are blending into a beautiful mess of colour and memories. Pieces of my heart now belong in more countries than I've ever even been to. I have family on every corner of the globe, on almost every continent. The love that crosses the oceans and span the lands ties us all together like a big beautiful present, wrapping the earth in prayer.

A month ago, I was in the Middle East. It seems like a dream at times, like maybe it didn't actually happen. But it had to be real. It changed me forever.

After what seemed like a lifetime of growth and community crammed into the 3 months, leaving Hawaii was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Saying goodbye to friends who became family and the place that unexpectedly became home, knowing it would never be the same. My team of 12 had become a team of 11, and I hated getting on that plane knowing we wouldn't all be together. And as we settled down in Nazareth for 3 weeks and then moved on to Tiberias, our team of 11 broke apart again and became a team of 7.

With all the upheaval, the culture shock, the spiritual battle - we were emotionally drained with no comfort zones. But, as a smaller team, we put one foot in front of the other and travelled on to Bethlehem, Jerusalem, and then back to Nazareth before finishing with a couple of days in Tel Aviv.

Despite the struggle, the more I reminisce, the more I see the way the Lord was moving in us and through us during that time. Like gold in a fire, we were tested and refined and left stronger and closer to the Lord and each other than ever before.

I, personally, fell in love with the Arabic people and their culture. I've never been loved so unconditionally, or experienced such generosity or hospitality. Simply walking down the street of our village to the bus stop we were invited in to so many houses for coffee and sweets, and every language, cultural or religious barrier was broken as we communicated for hours without words. Most of our ministry was spent this way - simply going into people's homes and building relationships, random acts of kindness and street ministry, however, practically we were able to serve too by visiting and praying for patients at the hospital, painting, renovating and cleaning a school, volunteering at a restaurant, working with children at summer camps, and encouraging the local churches and believers.

My eyes were opened to truths about Israel that not many people know, because the media fails to mention them. They fail to mention that in Israel and in Palestine live real people, with real lives, real families and real love and desire for peace between the people groups that live there. Everyone we spoke to told us that they didn't care whether their neighbour was Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Chinese, African... All they wanted was peace and to live normal lives. I even visited with a group of Jewish and Muslim families who met every Saturday night for dinner in the home of a Christian family.

I don't know what the answer to it all is. I feel like I have barely scraped the top of the barrel of information available to me to help me pick a side, but I don't want to. And I don't need to. All I need to know is that Jesus knows the answer, he has promised peace and whatever it looks like now I can trust him to fulfil the work he started.

I hope since coming back that I never again take my freedom for granted. Going through the checkpoint between Bethlehem and Jerusalem was probably the most eye-opening thing I've ever done, but, more than that, it is the stories of the hearts of believers who are living with the effects of the West Bank Wall that will stay with me forever. How a man can live as a prisoner within the wall, unable to leave except by crawling through a hole underneath it, and still smile more radiantly than anyone I've ever seen because he knows his freedom is in Jesus and that no man, no military, no government can ever take that away from him.

If you can, please remember Israel, Palestine, and it's people in your prayers. They are people, just like you and me, with hopes and dreams of freedom. Their love for each other has no walls, despite what is built between them. Pray for peace, pray for a quiet end to the wars and unrest, pray for my friends, pray for freedom.

[photos coming soon]

TWO STEP BAY

Just another weekend in Hawaii.

A group of seven of us - Joel, Toby, Grant, DK, Margie, Riki and I - decided to hitch-hike to a beach we'd never been before to try and swim with some dolphins that are normally around. We left in the morning, walked for about 45 mins before we were picked up and taken a couple of miles to a store. We bought some drinks, and Margie prayed, "Holy Spirit send us a truck." Within seconds a truck pulled over outside the store and picked us up. While six of us were riding in the back, humming the theme song to Jurassic Park, Riki was loving on and praying for our beautiful driver Hale in the front. As we drove, we realised we weren't really headed the direction we wanted to go, but that was only because Hale wanted to show us around a couple of places first, before taking us to Two Step Bay. She had lived on the island her whole life, and never picked up hitch-hikers, even though she always wanted to. So she generously showed us some other beautiful beaches and houses before dropping us off at our destination. She was such an angel!

At Two Step we swam out far and could hear the dolphins singing when we put our ears under the water, but we never found them. We sat on the rocks for a while playing games before heading back to the road.

We started to walk to the highway, hoping to be picked up on the way. We never were. That was about 4 miles (about 6.5kms), uphill the whole way. Then we walked along the highway. Still no ride, for over 2 miles (about 3.5kms), mostly uphill again, and raining now. At one point, maybe a mile in, a car did stop and was able to take three - DK, Toby and Margie. We didn't want to separate, but for the sake of getting home, we did.

Four of us remained and walked until we found a cafe. Like wanderers in from the desert we stumbled inside, told our story, and in moments devoured four burgers, fries and two jugs of water. It was the greatest. meal. ever. Once we had finished we decided not to walk anymore, but just stand and wait to be picked up. And we were. Very quickly this time.

We got into a car with a strange man, playing strange music. The feeling in the car was kind of 'icky'. The man proceeded to tell us about his beliefs and how they opposed our own, and about the 'shadow people' he sees. The guys did most of the talking, telling him about what we were doing in YWAM and why, and when he stopped to let us out, Grant asked to pray for him. He scoffed and said whatever, so Grant did, just blessing him with God's love, and by the end the guy had a big smile on his face.

We got out of the car, and within 15 seconds, without even sticking out our thumbs, a truck pulled up and asked if we wanted a ride to Coconut Grove (5 minutes from campus). We all huddled in the back, looked at each other, and just laughed!

We were blown away by God's care. That he would send us on a three hour uphill walk, hot sun and then cold rain, us girls ending up barefoot on sharp lava rock gravel because it was less painful than our shoes, and not give us a ride because he wanted us to be picked up by that one guy. He cared so much that he would send us so far just for him. And I believe it was worth it- I'd do it again.

And then, we were blown away by God's timing. After three hours of no ride, and finally getting the ride we were meant to get, God provided the next one without a single step or thumb from us. It was as if he said, "Thanks guys, you did your job. Now you can go home!" If we hadn't split up, if we hadn't stopped for dinner, we wouldn't have met the guy, and if we hadn't prayed for him, we wouldn't have got the next ride all the way home, where we then saw the most beautiful sunset.

This was an amazing day, but it was also a lot to do with the quality of the people on this journey. There was no complaining, though we were tired and hurting. We looked after each other, we kept smiles on our faces, and we embraced the adventure. I'm so grateful to be on this journey with such amazing brothers and sisters. They have forever changed my life.

Riki and Hale - our angel driver!

Probably my favourite thing about living in Hawaii - hitch-hiking in the back of trucks!

Forever bonded by that day... Riki, Margie, Grant, me, Joel, DK and Toby.

And so happy to be home!